Life In The Great North West

December 1st - The first day of my last month in Prince George...

It is starting to feel real that I am soon leaving Prince George. I paid my last phone and rent bills, sold my bed (thankfully they are not picking it up for two weeks, or that would be a long time to sleep on the floor...), canceled my phone service, started arranging things to give/throw away, applied to a few jobs and even finished almost all of my Christmas gifts (not the assembling, baking, wrapping part that will happen frantically last minute, but the shopping/deciding part).

Even though I am getting ready to leave, finishing grad school doesn't feel real at all. And for good reason... I won't know if I am actually done until after my defence, which I am getting really, really, nervous for. All of the defences that I've been to watch have resulted in minor revisions or a clear pass. But I heard about one last week where major revisions were required. Ugh. If I get stuck with major revisions then I have to keep editing until everyone is satisfied, which would mean into January and another tuition charge. The worst part? That isn't even worse case scenario - out right failing would be. Right now, I am expecting minor revisions, dreading the possibility of major ones, and trying to ignore the failing possibility. I know, my time would be better spent preparing than worrying, but I can't help the butterflies already forming in my stomach.

I got back from my recent travels last night and have been feeling rather reflective today. I had a moment of panic getting out of bed this morning when I realized that my current space and routine will be gone forever in just four to five weeks. This is it. The big transition from school to work. Although rationally not the transition and just one of many...

My travels ended up being quite the adventure with last minute changes in plans and bookings, getting literally stuck in snow banks, and facing numerous attractions and road closures - but what's travel without some good stories? :P

In Edmonton I stayed at a hostel in the same room as some German woman on one year work visas, an older woman in the safety business, and a comedian from Calgary. I explored Whyte Avenue (the historic arts/shopping.clubbing district), saw a little bit of downtown, the legislature building, part of the UofA campus and of course, the West Edmonton Mall. I didn't do any shopping even though I was in a mall. I looked at all of the attractions, themed hallways, animals (lemurs, sloths, fish), and watched the sea lion show - six hours later I had walked almost every inch of the mall, had only purchased a few things from the souvenir store, and had to get back to the hostel as it was getting late and already dark outside.

Onwards to Calgary was a nice 'girls night' and a morning of exploring downtown and Stephen Avenue. It was nice to see what the city looks like when it is not full of crowds from the Stampede. I had really wanted to visit the Devonian Gardens again but unfortunately they were one of the attractions closed for renovations. I got lost on my way to the bus station in Calgary and walked way too many blocks in the wrong direction. Although I planned to arrived almost an hour early, I managed to get there 15 minutes before my bus left and still get a seat, thanks to the many strangers that helped point me along and the cars on the highway that refrained from hitting me!

Traveling towards Banff, I was again awestuck by the mountains. I admit, the gorgeous view made me question why I am looking for jobs in cities that are full of buildings and not mountains. Banff was my longest stop and I was able to see quite a bit even though the snowy weather stopped us from getting everywhere we had planned to go. I was able to see most of the local lakes: Johnson, Mannewanka, Two Jack, Vermillion. We drove out to Lake Louise and Crowfoot Glacier. I took the gondola up Sulphur Mountain and explored Banff Avenue one night. I did two little hikes through Jonhston Canyon and the Hoodoos - both are amazing natural sites. I also ate lots of good food, had a tour of the fancy hotel, and saw lots of animals! The elk were everywhere - I saw 27 in total and was quite close to many of them, which is nervewraking when on foot but exciting all the same. The weather was not very cooperative. I only caught a few glimpses of blue sky and entire mountains disappeared behind the snow (which is an amazing thing in itself). Winter is beautiful but I would also love to see all of those lakes in the summertime when the blue water is shining through and not covered by ice and snow. It looks like I will just have to go back to Banff! :)

The snow followed me to Kelowna, but it was still a pretty fall picture there with the ducks along the waterfront and leaves on the ground. I stayed with extended family and so spent lots of time catching up and swapping stories. I had a tour of the city and walked along the waterfront, did a wine tasting, ate some great food, learned a new card game, and visited the casino. Kelowna is a pretty city but unfortunately I didn't get to experience the warm weather and sunshine that it is famous for! The winery was beautiful and I was very excited to finally try ice wine, which was delicious. Maybe I can justify buying some for after my defence!

Thank you again to all of my gracious hosts and tour guides! Looking forward to more adventures to come and beautiful sites to be seen...

Although it's late in the day, I'm just now making lunch, and have yet to work on my thesis today.... I'm feeling oddly productive, I let myself sleep in, which my body appreciated, and then went downtown to return books to the public library to avoid late charges. While downtown, I was also able to grab some groceries and.... buy my bus tickets!

In three weeks time, I will be on a bus making my way to Edmonton. And out of necessity, will of somehow finished everything with my thesis edits and have filed the papers for my defence. I'm going to Edmonton, Calgary, Banff, & Kelowna this trip and staying with gracious friends and extended family along the way. I'm very excited to add the West Edmonton Mall, Lake Louise, and the Okanagon wineries to my list of adventures in Western Canada!

Booking the trip makes the end of my thesis and time in BC feel so definite. Now, to actually finish those edits....

One of the many things distracting me from my work is thoughts of this time last year. My Poppa passed away on October 14^th, 2008. One year ago. The night before I fed him some supper, talked about fishing, gave him a kiss on the forehead, said goodnight and that I would see him in the morning. He didn’t make it through the night.

 

I arrived in Ontario three weeks before he died. The first weekend he was outside building stairs. Three weeks later he was bed ridden and ready to let go. That month of doctors, nurses, hospitals, medications, and funeral planning seems like years ago and yet, like yesterday. It was an intense experience that I threw myself into, taking care of both of my grandparents as best I could. I was reacting and doing.

 

Unfortunately, it was not until after he died that I realized the true nature/extent of his personality and role in my life and that of our family and community. One of those ‘you don’t know what you’re missing until it’s gone’ scenarios… Not that I didn’t appreciate him before! I just didn’t fully understand what role he played until he was missing from the puzzle…

 

I miss him. Really miss him.

good: took time out for a Thanksgiving dinner last night

bad: rude email from university staff first thing this morning

good: rambling email from friend in Banff explaining all of the beautiful things I will see there

bad: thesis editing definitely not done...

Last time I was frantically editing my thesis my computer was plagued with the blue screen of death and then today a power outage! What are you trying to tell me universe?

Life has been a bit of adventure lately and I'm not complaining :).

Today was a big thesis day as I finally got a response back from my committee members. I have edits to do and one of them will need to re-read a couple of my chapters, so I'm certainly not done... but I'm heading to bed tonight feeling content and relieved. I have received a lot of positive feedback about both the quality and importance of my work. Now that I know what changes I need to make, my anxiousness has turned into excitement - being able to file for defence is getting closer and closer into my reach!

I used to think I was a patient person but all of the waiting I’ve had to do recently is starting to make me think otherwise. On the up side, I am learning out of necessity how to deal with not having a set schedule or plan (short or long term). It’s rather exhausting though, I feel a bit like a ping pong ball, or maybe a yo-yo.

 

Everything is moving so quickly and somehow at a complete stand still – at the same time…

I'm not sure it really means anything, but it is interesting to have the dates line up and since I'm at the computer I thought I'd take advantage of this opportunity to mark the 9th minute of the 9th day of 9th month of the (200)9th year....

It's a rainy day in PG. I got up early to take out the garbage (no taking it out the night before in PG because of bears!). Now I'm dancing to the radio from my desk chair and finishing up a newsletter (for my thesis) that I've spent way too much time working on.

How did you spend your 9/9/9/9 moment?

I have now been awake for 41 hours and counting. In that time, I handed in a revised copy of my thesis to my supervisor, attended a two day long conference on equity & diversity, and just finished it all off with a Johnny Reid concert! Throw in the mix some mouse traps, OSAP dealings, and other such random things.

I can't wait to be reunited with my friend, sleep!

So after waiting an entire month to get my edited thesis returned to me, I got it on Monday and was supposed to return the edited version back by Thursday night. BUT... it has been the strangest week. It feels like everything that could go wrong, did, and I have spent all of my time trouble shooting instead of editing and I'm still not done! I was so unimpressed about having to wait a month that I feel horrible and hypocrtical that I keep pushing my 'return edits' deadline back now.

I was making really good progress tonight until I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I was happy to discover that I wasn't seeing things, but not impressed to see a mouse! I've never had house mice before and I was hoping to keep it that way. An epic midnight battle ensued where I pulled out my stove and fridge to chase the mouse out, container in hand. After about an hour of peek and boo, the mouse made a run for it to my bathroom and then disappeared. At least it was cute? 

A happy thing I did today, although still strange in its own way... I went horse back riding! My saddle was falling off and I was sitting on an angle, my horse tried to eat every 5 steps, and it ran down a hill (through the bush) - I thought I was going to fall off and got hit in the face by several tree branches. Even with those challenges, I had fun overall! I would go again, but not for a long time. My body needs time to heal from the bruising - it really hurts to sit down.

This is one of those weeks that I will laugh about in the future.... far in the future...

I filled out an online form making an inquiry to Ontario's Ministry of Training, Colleges, and Universities..... in March..... for some research assistant work I was doing and just received a response TODAY. Thanks, but no thanks.

I just watched a report on the news about how to help cool your house down during this heat wave. But, I'm opening all of my windows to let the heat IN! Anyone who likes to stay cool should live in a basement. I need to get out in this sunshine soon!

Today is the first day in an extremely long time that I have not done any thesis-related work. I feel all mischievous like.

Before I freak out about how it's already Monday (the deadline to submit my thesis) and that the document is full of horrible typos and formatting errors.....

Let me take this brief moment to celebrate the momentous occasion of having just written the last line of my first complete thesis draft!
*grin*
*freak out*
*flailing arms*
AHHHHHH!

Countless hours,  tears, and laughs have went into this 160 page masterpiece. Although I know I have TONS of editing to do before I'm anywhere near done, I am feeling a momentary extreme high at having reached this pivotal stage in the thesis process. 

Contentment. Loving it.

Today I was reviewing notes from past meetings with my supervisor. From one meeting I found the name of an organization that she had wanted me to look at (and I never did). So I went up the website and was reading about the organization's philosophy, which is based on a book. I went to the university's library catalogue and discovered that yes, the book is there, but that it had already been checked out by a grad student. Frustration and disappointment ensues. About ten minutes later, light bulb! I logged onto my library account and looked at the list of books that I have checked out, discovering that I was the grad student who had checked out the book. Digging through my large pile of books I eventually found it. You know you have too much research to sort through when....

Hello July 1st!

I've been avoiding putting my thesis together and working on my chapters in individual files. Tonight I finally compiled it all and the good news is I will have no problem at all making my thesis over 100 pages, the bad news is I'm currently only at 70. My supervisor is looking for something between 100-150 as a rough guideline, with the focus of course being on quality over quantity. Some theses are hundreds and hundreds of pages, but at some point less is more, no?

I'm happy with my recent thesis progress (for once!) and have worked through a large chunk of my results chapter in a very short period of time. I still have lots to write though which is both exciting and overwhelming at the same time. I've returned to my late night writing schedule and it's oddly comforting. There is something soothing about the quietness of the house late at night where all I can hear is my upbeat music and my frantic typing. With the rest of the house asleep I can finally find a sense of calm and can focus on my work.

I need to switch gears tomorrow to finish up a project for my research assistant job, which I hope doesn't throw off my thesis groove - eek!

So, cheers to thesis progress and Happy Birthday Canada!

The students I worked with have had lots of life experience - some things they have done and others that have kind of happened around them or to them, such as different scenarios with family and living arrangements. Some of the students have gained insight from their experiences and value what they've learned and others are burdened with regret. I certainly wonder about the "what ifs" and I have small regrets all of the time, but there isn't any big thing in my life that I wish I could go back and change. Afterall, each action we take leads somehow to the next and I've had some fantastic experiences that I wouldn't want to give up. It makes me sad to listen to a person in their teens say that they regret so much of their life.

I am finally done coding! (only 2 or 3 weeks later than I had hoped :S.....). Now on to the "best" part - putting all the info together in my head and writing out my findings. Quicker! Go!

I'm not feeling so great this week. Armed with after-bite, a heating pad, eye drops, pain killers (and chocolate :P) and water, I sit at my computer all day and try to make a thesis magically appear. I'm racing against an impending deadline that I'm not sure I can actually meet and not making much progress. I fall in this trap often while writing large papers, I get so overwhelmed that I do nothing and then the day before it's due I somehow get it on paper one slow keystroke at a time. I need to get SO much more done each day than I have so far this week. I'm not looking for advice or sympathy I just need to vent my frustration. so... GRRRRRR!

On a much happier note, I have been 25 for almost exactly a week now! I t was great just to hear from everyone either by phone, card, or internet; Birthdays are a great facilitator for reconnecting people. I have a lovely birthday bouquet sitting on my desk and had some much needed time away from the computer with a dinner out and then a weekend trip to Jasper! The Canadian Rockies are absolutely amazing! Trip highlights include:

• Standing at the peak of one of the rocky mountains at cloud level, looking out over the city of Jasper and other mountains
• Extremely blue water from the glaciers
• Seeing Mt. Robson, the tallest of the Canadian Rockies
• My first bear sighting! We saw 3 actually on our drive home, we turned the car around and stopped to take pictures so I got to see one up close - it was much smaller than I had pictured and actually quite cuite. I also saw moose, elk, deer, and some baby wolves. :)

• Last weekend's conference was great. I've spent a lot of time this week following up on the conference activities by networking, reflecting, and researching relevant careers and training programs. I am hopeful that this group of women will be successful in staying in touch and supporting each other.
• We have been having a bit of a heat wave in BC this week and although the sun is nice I can't go outside and enjoy it because of my allergies. There is so much of the white dandelion fluff that it looks like it's snowing! *achoo!*
• Yesterday I went to a committee meeting where we managed to productively discuss zombies and goblets - fantastic.
• I really think anything with more than two legs and/or wings should stay out of my apartment! Spiders, mosquitos, flys, ants *shudders*
• In less than a week I will be 25! Although I was recently mistaken for a 17 year old... so apparently I am aging quite gracefully....
• Thesis wise - I am still analyzing my data. There are important deadlines looming in the not-so-distant future. So - full speed ahead!
• For those of you who actually visit my LJ as opposed to reading it on your friend's feed you'll notice that I changed the layout. The bright white and purple is so much happier than the dark blues.